The King of Dicks excels at being confrontational. Somewhere past middle age but yet to achieve true senior citizen status he appears to be a clean cut normal looking guy. Appearances however can be sooo deceiving. This guy has issues. He hates using our express check out and when he must use it does so with barely suppressed violence. Poor express check out machine...it doesn't deserve such abuse. He hates the staff at large. None of the staff can do anything fast enough or good enough for him. Once or twice he's actually forgot to return a book and instead of looking at home for it insists that he returned it and it's our fault. He won't even consider the remote possibility that he could possibly be mistaken. He always has this attitude of barely suppressed rage. I am of the opinion that The Dick King is just looking for a strong woman...perhaps with a whip and lots of leather? The staff usually suffers with the knowledge that as soon as we help him he'll be out of our hair. However, Penelope had had enough one day and gave him a big old helping of tit for tat. If our branch manager had actually been in the branch, like doing his job, Penelope would have probably been dust. However she has endeared herself to many of the staff when she gave the Dick King his just deserts. It's not so much what was said but how she said it. She used a very venomous and dominant tone. After that he's been a bit more pleasant especially to Penelope. Perhaps Miss Penelope has made a conquest???
The King of Dicks came in today wanting to know where our current copy of "Rocket Man" was. I asked him if it was a comedy and he said "No." with this sour look on his face. He said the sequel to "Rocket Man" just came out. It took me awhile but I convinced him that the movie he was looking for was "Iron Man" with Robert Downey Jr. - Freakin' idiot.
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