The Demented Miss D and her Balls of Steel

I'm suprised Miss D can walk with the large balls of steel nestled betwixt her legs. I mean she should at the very least waddle. At first glance Miss D seems like a very sweet old lady but looks can be deceiving. It all started with the reduction of hours taking place in June. Mr. Useless, our branch manager, took down the master schedule and did a preliminary change so that staff could get an idea of how the reduction effect everyone. Instead of putting up an accurate schedule that, god forbid, reflects the current state of affairs he puts the adjusted going into effect June schedule back up. Miss D takes one look at that schedule this morning and goes into Freak Mode. She starts with her signature muttering and asking the staff repeatedly "Who changed my schedule!?" " Who has the authority to change my schedule!?" Mr. Useless only works at our branch Monday, Wednesday and a half day on Friday so of course he's not able to diffuse the situation because he's at the MoCal branch. Miss Raiko, our 2nd in command is out sick until mid June, Miss Penelope is doing story time and craft with her usual 75 kids and I have yet to come in because I'm working the closing shift. Unbeknownst to the rest of the staff Miss D. has tried to call Mr. Useless's cell phone, our old regional manager, and finally calls Mr. Big Cheese himself when she she doesn't get the snappy results she expects. I enter the back room as she is making the call to Mr. Big Cheese and stare at her in stupification once I realize what she's doing. There are certain things you should never ever do, for instance; spitting in the wind, ramming a police car, baiting a rabid dog, eating questionalble shellfish, washing your hands after using the bathroom, etc... Well yeah, you could do these things but it's really not recommended. By calling Mr. Big Cheese and discussing a branch issue with him she's put her employment status in a potentially dangerous position. If Mr. Big Cheese finds out that Miss D is well... of diminished capacity, he could push for her termination. As it is she is not able to work the circulation desk at all and told Mr. Big Cheese. We'd love for her to be able to take up of the circ desk slack but she brings chaos to the front desk just by walking next to it. When she actually worked the circ desk she created so much confusion and destruction I was tempted to start drinking on the job. Regular patrons would ask to be helped by anyone other than Miss D. One female patron almost burst into tears at the very thought of having Miss D. help her because Miss D. made her feel like a criminal. (don't ask me why) According to Miss D. the conversation was short and she expressed her concerns about the whole schedule conspiracy. Miss D. was satisfied because she got a difinitive answer from the Biggest of Bosses which was to disregard the changes on the schedule and talk to Mr. Useless.