Stupid Reference Questions

This week of all weeks I feel should be national stupid question week. So far we have had people come in and ask for books on these subjects:

Do you have a biography of turkey?
I need a book on the 50 states of Idaho.
Do you have a book about Degas. ( pronounced like Vegas)
Do you have a copy of the Davincia Code?
Ummn do you have a book on Romans in the USA?
Do you have that new book Sleeping Dolls by Jeffery Dahmer (Deaver)
What part of France is Spain located?

Although there have been some great ones thorought the years:

I need a book on how concrete dries. (Science Project)

Kid came in wanting a book on Africa so that he could look up Siberian Tigers. It took him a while to figure the obvious out.


I had a woman who didn't know that Kentucky was a State of the Union. She thought it was only a type of fried chicken.

Another woman requested materials on how to train her dog. I handed her a book titled The Canine Good Citizen: Every Dog Can Be One by Joachim Volhard for her perusal, she handed it back to me and said " I don't have one of those!" She didn't know that canine is other word for DOG.

I had a patron that was convinced that New England was still a part of Great Brittian.

A staff member had a guy who was convinced that Forrest Gump was a real person not a fictional character and wanted to know when he was presented with his congressional metal of honor.

Another patron we affectionatly refer to as "Rose Red" was convinced that the character Ellen Rimbauer depicted in Television Mini series Rose Red by Stephen King was an actual person and wanted her biography.

The Demented Miss D Has an EPISODE

SoCal Branch Library is part of a large county library system. As such it is subject to a dress code. The dress code is of GREAT IMPORTANCE to upper management and is strictly enforced. There are however casual days in which staff members may, within reason, wear denim jeans. These days are either Friday or Saturday. Not both Friday and Saturday but either Friday or Saturday depending on which is the employees last day of work for the week.

The Demented Miss D comes into work in jeans, on a Thursday, which is a flagrant violation of the all important dress code. She proceeds to ask various staff members if indeed it's okay to wear jeans on a Thursday. The Staff tell Miss D exactly what she does not want to hear - that no, you can't wear jeans on a Thursday. Miss D has what I can only describe as an EPISODE. Muttering about how she is being discriminated against and how she is going to complain to the CAO and talk to her union representative. Which I don't get because she works a freakin' Saturday. About this time a patron approaches the circulation desk in search of information about our literacy program as she cannot read. This is what occured during the course of their conversation:

Miss D informs patron that we can't help her because our program only tutors spanish speakers.
HUH? So not true

Miss D informs patron that the library North of us has a literacy program that can help her.

Patron response is "I don't drive"

Miss D tells her to take a bus.


During the seven years Miss D has been employed at the SoCal library she has been known to change library rules and policy at any given time to any given individual. There have been times when I have just watched open mouthed and amazed as she totally distorts reality as I know it. Sephi, one of our pages, tries desprately to interject on the conversation trying to let the truth be known and feeling as though she's part of some kind secret literacy underground railroad she tries to separate the patron from Miss D. The unsettling part is that Miss D truly believes all the crap she is actually uttering.