Saturday, January 31, 2009

A Short Bus Kind of Day

Yup, today was a short but kind of day at the Reference Desk. Everyone that came up to the reference desk asked not only those stupid kinds of questions, for instance - "I need a book on grapes for my science project" or "What Time is it?" While staring at the wall clock and you jusk knew- knew it was because they couldn't read an analog clock. What do they teach children these days? But others masquerading as autistic children, unable to comunicate with the outside world had to come and see me at the reference desk. I had a kid who needed help logging onto the computer. Usually, and in this case as well I talk them through the process hoping and that they will learn more by doing than by just watching. Most of the time this process seems to work - not today though. Today it took freaking forever for this kid to follow the most basic and simple set of instructions. It was like teaching a duck how to read braille. At one point I wondered if he understood the English language. Just when I was about to break my own rule and just "do it for him" - he get's it. Finally, I think to myself, he's out of my hair. But alas, it's not to be. After I show him how to read his reservation reciept which tells him A. What computer he's on and B. When his reservation time is - he comes back to me and says "Somebody's on my computer" I give myself a mental headsmack and tell him that he has a reservation in one hour and fifty-five minutes. His reply "but somebody's on my computer" nothing seems to get through to this kid, nothing. It's not like he's five or anything. If takes a full five minutes of giving him the same freaking answer phased differently each and every time and I still don't think he truly "got" the whole concept of - dude you'll have to wait your turn. Civilization is doomed.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Another Performer's Showcase

Yes, yet again I got to go to another Performer's Showcase. This showcase was in a spectacular venue close to home, in my city's brand spanking new cultural center. I think they could have it at the Sistine Chapel and it would still have the same soul sucking effect on me. The venue had all the pristine shiney-ness of a newly minted penny as well as great food and decent breaks - but still I was only half alive when I left. I think it's just the whole thought of OMG I'm going to have to start thinking of SRP and it's only January! As well as the sheer number of people performing that has that life sucking effect. As I sat in the well appointed theatre I was forced to witness some truly gratingly horrifying performances. What amazes me it that these awful performers are willing to come to - yes! your library for a paltry $350-$475 and strut their stuff for your patrons. I mean really, do they not have friends that live within the bounds of reality? At one point I thought for a moment I'd start breaking out in hives when one woman did a startling reinactment of a scene in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice in full costume. (Of Course) I mean what 3rd grader is going to be all over that this summer!?

The Dizzing Deductions of the Demented Miss D

Bubble Trouble

At this time all of the staff is female at SoCal Library. As a result we talk a lot about - well men... During a staff birthday party Ms Patrick and I were involved in a man themed discussion. We were discussing the Man bubble bath phenomenon. We noticed that a lot of men we knew enjoyed taking bubble baths including Ms. Patrick's husband. During our discussion Ms. Patrick informed us that she knew that Alan Greenspan goes over financial information in the bath and would stay there for hours. At the end of the discussion Miss D gave Ms. Patrick a piercing glare and stated " Boy Ms. Patrick, you sure do get around!"



Beware of the Pretty People!

Miss D. is in a state about our branch manager retiring. She in constant worry mode regarding her ability to keep her job during these "uncertain times". As a result she often voices her theories regarding our branch manager's replacement. So far her biggest worry is that they will hire someone "Pretty". Yes, she is worried about the "Pretty" people. I'm not sure why - I get the impression that she thinks that if HR hires a "Pretty" branch manager that Branch manager will want Miss D gone. Maybe the whole birds of a feather theory? Miss D gave me a reasurring pep talk telling me emphatically that and I quote " Oh you won't have anything to worry about because you're smart."