Patron with no clue.

A patron calls on the phone and requests a book that her son needs for a book report.



Librarian : "What's the title of the book?"



Patron: "Prentice Hall."



Librarian: Silence.



Librarian: "I'm afraid that's the publisher of the book - not the book title. Do you have the author's name?"



Patron: "No. But we just need a story from that book."



Librarian: "Do you know the title of that story?"



Patron: "The Christmas Story"



Librarian: Deafening Silence



Sometimes it just doesn't pay to come to work.

Estranged Patrons

Sometimes it's hard to adjust yourself mentally to the people I like to call Estranged Patrons. That not so rare breed who haven't been in a library since "like ever" and haven't even the most basic library skills. For instance the Estranged Patron doen't know the difference between fiction and non-fiction or how to use an index. Let's not speak of a table of contents, it's just too painful.

Today I had a patron come up to me and ask me for help with the catalog computer.

" I don't know what this "M" means." she says. I studied the entry on the catalog computer and informed her that the "M" stands for mystery and that title was a mystery book. Her reply was "What's a mystery?" Trying to mentally adjust myself to her way of thinking and ultimately failing I said "No that means it's a mystery book." Her blank look prompted me to add - "You know a mystery book? Like Agatha Christie?" I notice still no dawning of knowlege in her eyes, so I continue on..."For instance a murder mystery or detective stories?" Her blank look continued. Then just when I think the knowlege of light has taken hold she said Ohhh so that means it's Science Fiction! Aren't those true books?

OMG.
Civilization is Doomed.